What is The Perfect Example of Both Good and Bad Luck?
The Naughty Wind Blows The Girl's Skirt High (Good Luck)
But at The Same Time Dust Falls into the Boy's Eyes (Bad Luck)
Height of Disappointment:
Husband Enter in a Medical Store to Buy Condoms on Weekend and Receives SMS from Wife: Bring Whisper While Coming Home.
Men are Like Babies.
If You Want to Shut Them Up, Stick a Boob in their Mouth.
For Those who can't Afford Porn, it's Better to put Women's Tennis on TV, Close your Eyes and only Hear it
Most Interesting Line Written on the Front of T-Shirt of a Girl, . . . . . . .
Excuse Me ! My Face Is Above.
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Little Girl Climbed a Tree. Santa Saw, Called Her Down and Gave Her Rs.100 to Buy a Panty. (Girl told Mom)
Greedy Mom Climbed Next Day. Santa Called Her Down and Gave Rs.5 to Buy a Razor...!
Madam: Give 3 Advantages of Banana.
Boys- 1. Rich Calcium. 2. Reduces Cholesterol. 3. No Risk of Cancer.
Girls- 1. No Risk of Pregnancy. 2. No HIV. 3. No Need of Partner!
Vicky Donor Special!
Teacher:Why Sperm Donation is More Expensive Than Blood Donation ..?
Sardar: Very Simple Madam Hand Made Things are Always Costly.
Santa was Rejected at MBA Job Interview When He was Asked to Give an Example of Team Work. Santa Replied ''Gang Rape".
Boss : What is the Difference Between a Key and a Panty..?
Secretary (shying) :
Key : Insert and Open
Panty : Open and Insert.
Recession Signboard on the Door of a Prostitute.
Summer Offer: Use Both Sides at Same Price or Any One Side Twice.
During Sex, GF Started Screaming, Throwing Hands and Crying.
Boy: What are you Doing? We Aren't Doing it 1st Time.
GF: You Just Continue, I am Practising for My Wedding Night.
What is Contraceptive Pill?
It is the 2nd Best Things That A Woman Can Keep in Her Mouth to Avoid Pregnancy.
Newly Wedded Couple After Sex.
Husband : I'll be Frank, You are not the First Girl.
Wife: I'll also be Frank, You Still Have to Learn a Lot.
Prostitution is the Only Industry Where Fresh Employees are Paid More than the Experienced Ones.
I was really angry when I lost quiz by 1 point. Last question was, "Where do women mostly have curly hair"?
I was sure that i was correct, but stupid judges said"Africa"
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Picture message Good Morning
Good mourning picture message
Man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!''
That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt & long legs who agrees with everything I say'
MORAL OF THE STORY: Men are brilliant until they think about a woman
Funny
The Japanese have always loved fresh fish
But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades.
So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The further the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish
If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh.
To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats.
They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea.
Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish and they did not like the taste of frozen fish
The frozen fish brought a lower price.
So, fishing companies installed fish tanks.
They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.
After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste.
The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!
But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan.
How did they manage...?
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark����
The fishare challenged and hence are constantly on the move.
The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!
Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull....?
Basically in our lives, sharks ���� are new challenges to keep us active.
If you are steadily conquering
challenges, you are happy.
Your challenges keep you energized.
Don’t create Success and revel in it in a state of inertia.
You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference.
Put a shark ���� in your tank and see how far you can really go....
Good Luck
Nice Message
(��) Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from Room) Please Come Fast, I am Having an Argument with My Wife & She Says She will Jump from ur Hotel Window.
(��) Manager : Sir, I am Sorry, But this is ur Personal Issue.
(��) Husband : yovv ! The Window's not Opening. This is a Maintenance Issue ..������
Funny
Seven complicated facts about Women:
1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don't believe them if complimented.
Extremely Complicated! ��
